Misconceptions about motherhood by Ivy

Title: Misconceptions about motherhood
Source of news: the Straits Times Forum
Name of article writer: Julianna Neo
Date of the article:January29, 2010

Summary:

This article mainly talks about the subject of having more children in Singapore. The writer is a mother who has contributed to the population and is proud and enjoyed to do so. She thinks that motherhood is a precious human sentiment which is a strong desire to have some little ones to love and take care of. On the other hand, some parents hold the view that nurturing a child takes too much money and time; they will not have children until they are able to provide them with a fine financial condition. Julianna argues that children don’t need a lot, what really counts is the love and companion you give to your children but not money, expensive toys, etc.

My perception:

I am quite with the writer to some extent, the main factor that determines the children’s personalities is not the financial condition of the family, but the love and education the parents provided. Moreover, the children’s future depends on their own talent and hard work, what the parents provide materially doesn’t influence a lot. However, some basic equipment are necessary, if the parents don’t even have a shelter or can’t live a relative comfortable life themselves, they’d better not have a child.

The article:

Misconceptions about motherhood

THE subject of having more children in Singapore has come up again. I was a mother who contributed to the numbers last year and am proud and overjoyed to have done so. The government incentives are a welcome bonus for me, but they did not influence my decision to have children.

Quite simply, the decision or desire to have children comes from an inner feeling of having someone to love and care for, and subsequently gives a sense of fulfilment and joy.

This is why motherhood is such a precious role. Motherhood challenges in ways one never dreamed of, many of which are frustrating and demanding. Still, mothers carry on day after day, with deep love and affection for our little ones, and wanting only the best for them.

However, what is 'best' has changed over the years. These days, a typical child's necessities are a host of enrichment classes, from as young as when he starts to crawl.

I once spoke to a waitress about her decision to have children. She said she wanted to have them, but would have to get a better job to pay for their enrichment classes. After all, her neighbour's child was signed up for a string of them, and this would be the norm for any child. She concluded that children cost money, and as long as she did not have enough, she would remain childless.

It is sad when we allow these misconceptions to shape life's decisions. As a mother, I have come to realise that children do not need a lot. They do not need the latest fashion, they have yet to develop expensive taste in food, and they play with simple objects and use their imagination. Sometimes, we adults impose on our children what we think they need.

My daughter loves her toys and dressing up, but at the end of the day, she simply wants me. And as a stay-home mother, I am happy to spend these few precious years with her.

What children really need is love and attention. They want your eyes on them when they try a new dance step, your response when they ask a question, and for you to play with them. When we are busy making money to fulfil all we think they need, we miss the important truth of simply being there.

I remember reading about Mrs Lee Kuan Yew making an effort to be with her children during lunch and skipping evening functions so she could spend time at home. Obviously, her choice to do so has greatly impacted not only the lives of her children, but also that of the nation.

If government incentives do not spur people to have more children, we need to take a step back and ask ourselves why. Perhaps we need to change our mindsets and stop thinking children need to grow up as superhumans who excel at everything. Life and motherhood could be so much more enjoyable if we just slow down to look into the eyes of our little ones, engage in their innocent conversations and see the world from their view.

Julianna Neo (Madam)